What do you do when you don't feel holy? You are a Christian, but you feel lost in some place that seems very far away from God. You go to church. It feels great while you're there, but you know you have to go home when it's over. You drive there, and you get ready for bed, and the lights are out, and suddenly, you are terribly, horribly alone. Fear rises up. You feel your throat close up. Terror strikes your heart. You are in a pit, and you have no idea how on earth you will ever get out of it.
It is different for each of us. I remember times when my girls were little, and I tucked them into bed, smoothed the hair back from their small foreheads, and bent to kiss them good night. I would gently close their doors, and walk back to my own room, where....many, many nights...I would cry myself to sleep. I was lonely. I was afraid. I didn't know how to make the money stretch. I wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right.
You may not be lonely. You may have a wonderful husband or wife. But cancer has come to your home, a most unwelcome visitor. You don't know what is going to happen. Will it go away? Is healing going to happen?
Maybe you don't have enough money for your light bill, or the rent. No matter how far you stretch it, the money is just not enough. You may be getting evicted, as you read these words. In a few short days, you have nowhere to go. You are afraid, you are scared to death. Will you be homeless in less than a week?
I think about my dear and precious friend, who has lost his wife, I feel the searing pain that burns through him. The grief is palpable. His loneliness is vast and dark and deep. He feels he is in a hole that he cannot climb out of.
I prayed to understand him, and You answered me. You gave me a sense of aloneness, an awful loneliness, a grief that has surrounded me on every side. I almost wish I hadn't prayed that prayer. This is terrifying, dark, bleak, and hopeless. I feel the darkness, and it is as if I am completely alone in the world. Depression crushes me. Despair grips my heart. I feel there is no hope. I don't have the words to help this man. I love him, and I want to help, but I feel powerless in the face of the enormity of his pain.
But in faith, by faith, I have to believe that there IS hope for him.
For all of us, whatever we are facing.
If God cannot help us in times like these, what good is it to talk about being a Christian? If it is just about the happy times, what help is our faith? our Christianity?
He doesn't promise easy answers. God is not Santa Claus. It's not about erasing all pain, taking away all heartache. That life would be Pollyanna-ish, and I don't think anyone really wants a life that shallow. Without pain, there is no understanding of true joy. But to live in the midst of pain, and to find yourself victory in my midst of it, that is what I want to help my friend to do.
Read Lamentations 3.
It is a powerhouse of feeling. It is a story of grief. It is a literal description of what loneliness, bitterness, anger, frustration, despair can do to your heart. It can shrivel up your soul. It can fill you with devastating fear. You may have a panic attack. But keep reading!
Hope comes in the midst of the pain.
Along with the heartache and the fear and the terror, we have a promise. We have a promise that we are NOT alone. We have a promise that God is with us through the pain. He SEES us, right where we are, and He is walking there in that mess with us.
He will hold us.
He will guide us.
He will lift us.
He will redeem us.
He will restore us.
He will love us to a place of peace that passes all human understanding.
It does not matter what you are going through today, right this very minute. Whatever you are facing, GOD IS WITH YOU. He is with you. He is with you. He is with you. You may not see Him. You may not feel His touch, but that does not mean His touch is not there. It is!
When you are broken apart, and you are bruised, and you are crying your heart out, remember that God does not change. He will not change His mind about you. He will not leave you. He will not forsake you. He will help you.
I can't make you believe this. But I can tell you, from my experience, that my God is faithful and true. He will deliver you from what you are facing.
If all you can do is say "Help me, God" ...that is ENOUGH. You don't have to be a preacher to see the Hand of God on your life. He is there for each and everyone of us.
This is your promise from an Almighty God.
Try it. Try Him. See what He will do for you.
I love you and my heart is with you tonight.
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