Looking Ahead...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201401/stop-expecting-misery-and-learn-make-room-happiness

Yesterday, Caroline and I were talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. She wanted to know what we were taking for the family get-togethers, and if I had any ideas for Christmas gifts for her sisters. Automatically, I found myself saying, "Oh, honey, it's still so far away! No need to figure all that out right now." As the words were escaping my lips, a strange thought occurred to me: I never plan for the future, even if it is only a month away, because I am always afraid, subconsciously, that something will come up, and whatever I am planning for won't happen. Or I'll die before it happens.  I looked over at my daughter and told her what I was thinking. She stared at me for a long moment and then nodded. "That explains it," she said sagely, my little 15 year old guru, "that's why you never make plans, Mama."

She's right.

I read an incredible article (see link above) that let me see I am not the only one who has had this problem. The writer says that she and her family also never did things in advance: didn't buy graduation dresses a month before the Big Day, for example, because something could come up, and the anticipated event just would not happen.

It is ironic that it has taken me over five decades to realize something my youngest daughter picked up on before she is even 16 years old.

I don't know how, exactly, to fix the situation but I know some steps that may help me to get better about it. The first one, as I shared with my child, is to make To Do lists.

I know people who have To Do lists in their bedrooms, to remind them to call the rug cleaner, or change the sheets, or pick up sky blue paint for touch-ups, via the scattered Post-It notes by the light switches. We've all seen the grocery To Do lists hung on refrigerators by magnets: Pick up mayo, don't forget the dog food, we need milk! In every case, someone is anticipating a need, and writing ways to meet that need.

Another step is to Act As If. In other words, if I am planning to go to Costa Rica, I need to get my passport ready. I need to check out my luggage: is it travel-worthy? I need to plan for time off from work. For me, the dream of being a missionary in three years means I get to start now to have my health in order, to figure out ways to creatively fundraise, and to spend time in prayer over where to go and with which organization.

Believe it or not, this is all very new and strange to me. I am not a planner of anything. I just go. I just do. I just show up.

But times are changing in my life and in the world around me, and we need to be diligent in planning for tomorrow.

So I grabbed some paper and a couple of pens, and Caro and I set out to make ourselves some To Do lists. An hour later, I had mine finished and she hadn't started hers. ("Mama, you're the one that needs help with this, not me!" was her excuse!)

That's cool. I have now officially:  planned what to take to the Family Thanksgiving Meal (pumpkin pies, made by Yours Truly), figured out what to take to the Family Christmas Party (coffee, tea bags, sugar, and cookies), and a daring plan for losing these pesky twenty pounds that have stubbornly settled in around my waist, thanks to Merry Menopause.

I feel nervous and excited at the same time. I still can't promise something won't happen before those days come, but if it does, what the heck? Somebody will still eat that pumpkin pie.

I even remembered the Cool Whip.